Antisocial Butterfly

I love people, but they drive me absolutely insane sometimes. When I was younger I was super shy. I’m almost positive I didn’t talk to anyone besides my parents and sister for the first five years of my life. I was scared of everyone when I was younger, but as I’ve grown up and developed my social skills I’ve grown to love talking to (some) people. I have a lot of friends as well as a close circle of confidants that I would trust with my life and my secrets. I have a boyfriend and was socially able to talk my way into getting an internship at the early age of 20. By no means am I an extrovert or an expert on how to hold a good conversation, because to be honest, I don’t really know how I do it. I think in a way, I’m still trying to figure out how to miss the awkward silences and pauses within business conversations or how to end a conversation with an old friend you haven't seen in a while.

I love hanging out with my friends. When the pandemic hit my first fear was the fact that I wouldn’t be able to see my friends for a while when it probably should’ve been Covid-19 that I was afraid of. However, I’ve come to love a simple hang-out sesh over a rager. It’s funny because I am almost 21 and this should be the time of my life where I’m first introduced to parties and bars, but instead, I love to go to the movies with my boyfriend and play Super Mario Bros and Just Dance with my friends. I constantly miss my family, and this school year I’ve gone home plenty to see my parents and my dog. My sister even moved two hours away and it made me sad for a couple of weeks.

I was so nervous to apply for my first job, and to be honest the reason I waited so long in my teenage years to get my first job was because I hated and didn’t know how to talk to people.

It’s weird because if you know me I’m really talkative with my friends and family, but when it comes to jobs and school I automatically can’t speak like a normal human being.

Recently, I’ve quit my first job in order to pursue an internship within my field of study. Initially, I couldn’t believe I had gotten the job because I am a nervous wreck in interview rooms.

As I move forward in life, I’ve realized how much I will continue to grow within my social abilities and beyond. I will continue to enjoy quality time with my friends and family in controlled and peaceful environments, but I won’t say no to a good time either.